Sunday, November 6, 2011

crazy little thing #self-talk

long, i have been meaning and wanting to write any thing that doesn't touch my recent life as a whole. at this moment of time-never-get-enough, the longest and quickest topic to write is simply about my monthly ranting, which didnt give me the same pleasure of blogging like i was still in college. 

i have numbers of opinions to write but when i have the chance to pour it down, i prefer just to whine and keep most of the stories by myself. thankfully that friends are always boosting my happy-o-meter, absorbing my daily whine like a sponge, otherwise my life would be a great mess. 

as for love, yes, the topic i love the most :) i always, like seriously, always keep wondering why oh why it doesn't happen yet to me. i am attractive, insightful, principled, a little bit meaty but i know i am cuddly. this is not bragging, this is confidence! lol. anyway, be my girlfriends and you will know how frequent i'll touch on this obsession called love. gladly, most of them were telling me how lucky i am to be single and experience-less. lucky that i am not being hurt, being cheated, painfully missing and waiting for somebody. yes, i am indeed lucky and vacant and tremendously happy, with girlfriends all around, i could not ask for better life. 

few months ago, i was filled with anticipation of being special to this one ass-hole. he was cute, (yes, i effeminate him) and has a great factor that i really dig in, WISDOM. not that he has to be an absolute genius, but he should know how to tame me down, make me less paranoid about the whole relationship thingy. i like him but i know this relationship with this cute ass-hole won't bring me anywhere close to his heart. he went missing, leaving me clueless of not knowing why and how it happened this way. i was devastated and i had the worst birthday ever. i spent most of my time cussing him, fantasizing karma would bit him so badly and after a month of silence, he reached me back, confessing himself as a genuine ass-hole and then went missing again. he simply doesn't do me any justice, i was deeply confused.

the whole thing with heart and feelings are not my expertise. stone and leaves are better than i and so because of this inability to feel, i spilled this to the girls i trust. dont know where i got the guts, i started telling and sharing the stories and surprisingly there are numbers of girls/women feeling slightly confused and hurtful when facing this kind of situation. the moment when the men go missing, which is the moment that indicates that they are no longer into us anymore. ouch! yes, it happened to them too and no, i am not the only one. i was hooraying at knowing this.

back to the shithead,

after lots of serious thinking and being straightly honest, i know that i have to pull myself out of this vague friendship, knowing that i will be the only one who thinks of him as irresistible. he tempts me in so many ways that i am afraid of being out of control. i don't know how to play the game. i dont even know the rules of keeping a friendship with a guy that i found attractive. hence i prefer 'the let me be hurtful a little' rather than feeling a great agony towards the end. i play safe. i am afraid of the bad consequence. i am afraid of being thought as desperate. i am in fear of being cheated. i am afraid of being madly in love with somebody. and to me, falling in love makes any person in the world, at the weakest condition. fragile, feeble, dreamy. 

yet, i am in fear of being alone, of visualizing me facing the life in solitude with two or three cats. i dare not to think of such terrible matters.

sigh. 

my time will come. never lose the faith as he will come, along with bundle of happiness and love

now everyone makes the aaaaaaaa~ (imitating the sounds of audience in sitcoms)

at this moment, my mission-should-be is money and family comes second. this may sound a lil bit obnoxious, but it works great as a self-help, "i am in love with myself that only the right man can makes me notice of his existence", that is my mantra as for now. just so you people might wondering, i like him but not yet in love with him and i thank God of giving the heart of the steel. i am a real-steel, baby!

oh, well!

Saturday, November 5, 2011

joy

sumpah, i miss the world on the net really really much.

life, to be shorten, is pretty much awesome. i love my colleagues, they are like a bunch of old friends from high school, warm and honest. and i am indeed very thankful to be blessed in meeting those great people. i meet my own pervert in crime, as known as my raba buddy and she's hot and smart. not trying to sound gayish but reality is hard to ignore. i spend more time laughing with good friends from high school. i shop books. i find the time to read the books. i treat families and friends once in a month. i give mom money. i invest on good shoes and bag. i pull myself out from a vague friendship. i live in a little room that i pay all by myself and i love the sweet joy of solitude. my housemate is friendly and kind. suffice to say, everything seems to be at the right place, though the job is quite shitty and my lappy was stolen and love is nowhere close.

alas, i am with all my heart feel very much thankful to the Almighty for this sweet joy. Alhamdulillah.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

for grandeur time

i do. i do miss blogging and the life on the net really really much. alas, i am busy and there were times that life was pretty fucked up, hence the missing.

to tell of my life at this moment, of what i am feeling, of what i had been through and of what i'll be going through, its gonna end up as a novel. there were times, i slept wearing the smiley face, having all those good moments right next to you and there were time, like at this exact moment, i am feeling down, heartbroken, disappointed. of family issues, of man woman relationship, i dare not to spill it all. might burst onto tears anytime. like yesterday in the office. but i am lucky to have a good caring boss!! tsk. tsk.

now that i am in penang, will be spending times, great times with friends. i wont put my family as my greatest pleasure. even if they are, it includes only my mom and sibling. dad, you're not even a part of my happiness hence i certainly convince that i am not gonna be happily smiling seeing you on my convocation day. you just intensify the pressure i have in me now. 

Of guy thingy, i met a guy that i fond of his personality. Even his way of laughing, talking are burnt in my mind, like a tattoo it's hard for me to remove him. i am indeed sad but my story is not that heart wrenching after all. luckily i was not deeply in love. merely fond, i tell ya. but i adore his attitude. :) though i suppose to enrage to him, i am not. I am confused, clueless that i cant even draw what were really happened between us. friends, indeed. a really good friend of mine. one who finds me pretty in every ugly things i've said and done. sigh.

enough is enough. im gonna put a dot in here and purely hoping that i'll be having the urge to update this little cutey sweetey darling blog much more often. :)

i am graduating though!!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

back on a new track

it feels like ages!!!!!!!! but trust me, deep somewhere beneath my thick skin i truly miss blogging. my life at home was pathetically mundane that involves waking up early to bath, feed, play, lull and dress the babies. i did not learn how to sew or cook as what i planned when i was still in Penang. no rombongan meminang came knocking to the door. no surprising shocking sweet experience but a tiring experience of job seeking.

and

Thank God, i finally found one although it is nothing related to my degree, not even related to my interest, but i seriously need a job. at this exact moment, i am temporarily staying at a friend's room and have promised her that this going to be not more than two weeks before i finally able to find my own room in city of kl. speaking of kl, i self-taught myself on how to commute around the city and i kind of like it. years ago, i am not so fond of the idea of staying in kl, but now this is where a new life begins sooo collect the guts and spirits and just do it.

now, the preparation to start working troubles my head, the things with how to start an EPF account, income tax some more, finding a rent room, yadda yadda yadda. everything has to be done on my own, nothing tangible is provided. even moving into an old shabby room have to bring everything on your own, haiyo! no kipas, no katil, no wardrobe, shared toilet with 10 girls some more,  but there are few things that i should and must tag along to ensure my survival and those are

positive attitude and strong will.

oh yeah

oh well

Sunday, June 12, 2011

The Story

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am

But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true, I was made for you
Brandi Carlile

Saturday, April 30, 2011

eventually...

so i am done with the exam, and proudly declaring i finally completed the three years of being a student, Alhamdulillah for that. today is my last day in Penang, though i will be going back to USM in the middle of May, but this is pretty much the end of everything. everyone's leaving, some staying, i am leaving too. i am glad that i end these 3 years, happily, normally, like others would be feeling. it feels good that everything went well although at the end, you find yourself not in the same circle as you were in the first year, but it doesn't matter. that is life. eventually, it changes. i feel great that i leave the uni's life with no ill-hearted feeling, no grudge, all forgiven, al iz well.

my only concern now is to think of what-to-be, and how to be the-what-to-be. i need to find a job. one that can give me money, one that makes me happy, one that i love. i can do pretty much anything, but definitely not doctor, engineer, accountant, etc, the technical field. so my choices are to be in communication field, editing, writing or PR-ing? and then the education field and perhaps in administration like HR and what not. but if you ask me, what i love the most, i choose to be in communication scope, anything to do with entertainment enlighten me. still, i do have this slightest worry about these future work thingy, but then there is always few positive-friends smacked this thought down and said 'have a little faith'. and they are right, i have studied for 4 years, and it's time to face the world. so, i talked to myself, consoled the anxiety, 'just stop worrying too much, it does not even help you find a job'.

hence, so good luck to everyone. ive heard one of my course-mate, already got a job. few want to pursue masters. and i will be out there, among the struggling jobseeker. hoho. whatever, wherever you guys will be, may Lord be with thee.

oh well.

Monday, April 25, 2011

false alarm

not that i set the wrong timing or wake up late for the final exam. there's nothing to do with the alarm clock, time and whatsoever. it is my silly clumsy mind that was drowsily sleeping somehow, until today, on this very morning this braniac (brain+maniac) seems to be fully awake from its long slumber.

before i proceed, please know, that i am in the middle of exam's week. i've got two more papers before i declare myself free from assignments, classes, books, examinations, and every tedious stuff to do with the life of a student. preparing for exam is like setting forth of a war. one's mental and physical  have to be armored with excessive knowledge and shielded by great health, and to step in the exam hall it is important to limber up your fingers' muscles and knuckles so you can endure the excruciating moment of three hours in the exam hall. but, no matter how ready you are, please do not forget the most crucial essential fundamental vital step, check your exam's schedule.

last night at three in the morning, i made sure of basic things like the exam's slip, the ID card and the matrix, are being put in the bag, with a tremendous hope i won't be late for exam. and i made sure i woke up early just to have enough time to get myself ready, 10 min to apply the moisturizer etc, 10 mins to select the clothes, 5 min to get back to the room for the forgotten sweater, albeit i was one of the early birds. i chose to have a morning walk that helps to break the nerves and it was not that far, a 15 min walk from that highland of Saujana. so, i reached the exam hall with sweat, and high determination for the exam, but only to realize that none of my coursemates were there. i started to get even more panic when there was no 'seat-display-number-whatever' for my course, HET i-forget-the-code, being pasted on the board.

i was perplexed but i could not call anyone as i didn't bring my phone and there was no one that i knew around. upon the realization and for the love of Computational Linguistics, who wants to be in the exam hall when the real exam starts at 2 in the evening but not at 9 in the morning. and there i was standing in front of the exam hall, like a complete lunatic who did not double triple check her schedule. so, this is my final lesson.

oh well. oh CL.

Friday, April 22, 2011

James Franco

oh boy! can somebody pinch me?

fyi, the hunky, drop dead gorgeous James Franco is planning to pursue his doctorate in literature and creative writing and oh boy, that is sexy! reading english, you see, is not something that everyone loves to do, even the native speakers found it useless. it is boring, lengthy and old most of us will be half-dead while reading it. and this incredibly good looking man is actually liking these old boring stuff that i've been learning for three years and it makes me feel 'oh, thank God for clearing the path for me!' the oath that i am taking now, though it is less traversed but is something i love.

Carey Mulligan in An Education is dying to read English Oxford, and now knowing that James Franco is a literary-man boosted my confidence with the education i had. always that the english graduates be associated with only the teaching profession and to some extent we are being made fun of our vague future.
 oh literature? what you gonna be? a shakespeare? 
when i was first knowing that i'd be doing a degree in literature, i was shocked and i felt cheated by the whole gomen system because i supposed to be doing a degree in Tesl. the society were all rude, one of my cousin said that the English literature course that i be doing is ridiculous and i knew that deep in their heart, the people, they were laughing at me, making fun of my five years education in boarding school and end up reading poems and books of the dead writers. oh right, laugh at all the fun, you may. if the future is foreseeable, i wont be bothered to learn the empirical intelligence stuff you called science.

we, the english graduates are the marginalized. there are almost zero sponsors. Tesl and English degree although are sisters but mainly separated. the teslian has better fortunes than us, and oh it depends on the university as well. in usm, we doubled up the study time but still end up with nothing extravagant. there is only one person in the class who be getting the first class degree, but the CGPA is not more that 3.6. below grandeur if compare to the uitm's degree.

alas, what can i do other than whining. i cannot change the whole system of USM, protesting 'y u NOOO easy'. in preparing myself for the life after the university, i cannot help but be worried of my writing skill, which is merely average level. nothing impressive. and when it comes to speaking and communicating i can be all drenched in sweat and fears. i just hope that God will be generous enough to light on my oath once i graduate. Amin.

p/s: Franco is teaching at NYU, it would be faaaaan-tastic if i could be one of his lucky student, scrutinizing and reading him the poems with unimaginable pleasures.

the Brazilian birds

when it comes to the movie selection my preferred genres are rom-com and *ehem, animation movies. though i am perfectly 22-year-old lass, i cant help myself for liking the animation movies and to me, exaggeratedly speaking, these movies are almost perfect, except that they are not real and primarily meant for children.



i just watched the latest animation movie, Rio and i love it to the maaaaaaaaxxxx~~ i love the way the animators personalized the animals, personified it by giving significant, unique traits of human. one that can sing, another can rap, the other is too philosophical, and of course there will always be the villainous malicious character but is still comical. and all of these wonderful imaginary world of the untalked birds and barking dogs are beyond brilliant. irregardless how some obnoxious adults would label this genre as immature or child-like content, at least the animation movies are purely innocent and hundred percent safe from the obscene scenes unlike the many hyped-nowadays-movies that sells the actors (body and beauty) rather than the plot.

so yes, Rio is a must-watch-movie. not only that the animation and the colours are great but the plot is entertaining and easy to digest. ok, say the plot is nothing extraordinary, but you will love how it embedded few classic love scenes of many rom-com, where two people/birds that are completely the opposites, have to bear the annoyance of each other in certain period of time and finally fall in love. all smiling, it is another happy ending movie. cliche but wth........also, i like the fact that this movie got the brazil's vibes, the music, the setting, the culture but does Brazilian rap a lot? because those birds sure raps a lot in that. at the geeky side, there is a post-colonial concept weaves in though, the notion of 'going to the native'...

ok, now, i insist you to watch this movie. download it or get the cd, that would do. i support the cheap industry. watch ahead. spare not more than two hours to ease out your mind and to enjoy the funny little world of birds and animal in Brazil. and oh, seeing all the lively carnivale in Rio, it makes me wanting to go to Rio de Janeiro for the live-first-hand experience and maybe, just maybe get myself a quick lesson of samba. ay yay yay! 

oh well XD

Monday, April 18, 2011

a call

after many months, dad finally called me. i was the last he called before my brother and sister and it went not more than 5 minutes. he called by using a different number, and i had no clue it was him. he sounded unsure, perplexing like usual but i sensed a sincere effort there. 

abah: hello
me: hello, abah ke?
abah: aah. abah pakai number baru.
me: sihat tak?
abah: tak sangat. abah demam
me: *silent*
abah: study macam mana?
me: exam rabu ni.
abah: study elok-elok
         okla
me: ok, kem salam dekat mek.
both: bye. 


i never have those daughter-father moments and i just don't know how to react like a daughter vis a vis he probably doesn't know how to be a father to me. fair situation. somehow, i don't wish this relationship to be cured. i just hope it won't affect me in the future albeit the past had molded me into the now me, that is hard to change.

millionth thank you to you, dad that i am growing awesome even though you weren't there for me. and oh, for the phone call conversation, i might have dropped few lines. pardon me.

 oh well.

Friday, April 15, 2011

of the L word

i am a woman. born to be a girl completes with the normal level of estrogen and perfectly shaped vagina, of course i love to talk about love. pillow talk, rom-com movies, love novels are perfectly enchanting to me. the most novel thing a girl would want to talk about, all night long. and i am one of these typical girls who can stay all awake listening to some love stories, never be bored with it.

however, i am not one of those who thinks that love is easy to find nor easy to buy. when it comes to love and marriage i want to make it important and sacred, like the sacred egg that i risk my life from letting it cracks. i am a firm believer  that one day that guy who i sometimes dreamed coming to me with the handsome face of johnny depp rides in a posh car who tags along a lorry of chocolates and love, he will one day find the right way to get to me.

this may sound like a fairy tale to you, but this silly little unimportant dream means a hope to me. being brought up in a broken house, i have no exemplary of perfect couples, not even a perfect guy. so life is pretty loveless and still. people used to say, find a man who is exactly like your father. i, munirah ruslan, dispute this insensible notion because i'd rather be died alone with 10 cats than spending years with a guy like my father. not that i hate him, but i believe i deserve someone better. mom deserves a good man too but fates were destined by God. alas, i wont be in this world if it was not the sperm of dad came crushing mom.

in such early morning,  i am not yet having my beauty sleep and this is due to the caffeine. a friend came crashing my door for a sleepover we had some pet talk of love and it made me thinking. why oh why, for the love of God, i am still perfectly single but awesome as always? if a guy could tell me straight to my face that i am not pretty enough, i can bear with it. but if you come to tell me, i don't have enough ladyship and gentle, i will keep my opinion and sit at the end of the room, not crying but raging at the entire world.

the truth is you cannot judge people. well, not if you were given the wisdom like simon cowell, who is blatant enough to voice his brute comments. what i mean is when you want to know someone, know someone deeply. not on the superficial like what she's wearing, what sort of accent she has, what colour of his eyes, is his purse fat enough to feed your shopping temptation, is she fat, has she got big boobs. no no no no no no no no no.

know someone from his/her heart. every person in this world has different experience, childhood, voice, opinion, interest and these mold into what we are today. and so we've get to let these people being their true self and you've got to love them for what they are. that my friend, is love to me.

oh well. quite a lengthy one. if you happen to read until the very end, you are ouuuhsemm!! XD

p/s: it annoys me that i can write this in a flash but not a report. hergh.

Monday, April 11, 2011

my norm-nom-nom life

because i had quite a big portion of naan bread with tandoori chicken which i just ate late in the midnight due to a friend's born day.  i am all awake and fresh now but not strong enough to have the strength to start the assignment. yes, i do have an assignment during the study week. what a life. 

for these few weeks i had quite a life which explains the stillness of this blog. since that i still love you my dear blog but i am too freaking lazy so i am only gonna make lil snippets that pretty much tell the whole thing of my current life.

1. i am done with the Othello's play. it turned out great because the lecturers seemed to love it very much even though i personally think that it was not that great. but of course they are some excellent actors that deserved to receive the applause.

2. i went to langkawi again this weekend for a very short treat and just arrived about 9 at night. the activities were not that fun as we did not get the chance to do the island hopping or snorkeling to Payar Island.  however, the presence of what i called as great friends really made my weekend the best i had have in uni's life.

3. today, which is monday is the beginning of the revision week and i have not yet started anything. to worsen the exam panic, this semester is considered to be the shortest exam week (only for my course) because of its early start which is at 20th (if im not mistaken) and will end at 28th. what a life.

4. finally, i will be having a decent dinner with my coursemates which is also served to be our farewell dinner right after we finish the exam.

5. i haven't got anything decent to wear to the party and enough quids to buy me fancy dress.

6. i am having the pre-graduation anxiety since i am left with the only option, that is to work. talking about future and work have made me quite a pessimistic because everyone knows that seeking employment is not an easy thing to do.

7. the durian-craving was cured by the generosity of a friend's parents who brought those durians all along from Perak to Penang just for us. later they treated us (me and fiza) with super-tasty-special char kuey teow that i found the best in Penang so far, which is located at Permatang Pauh, not too far from UiTM.

i want to write more but can only afford seven points for tonight. hence, good night and good day-lah!

Saturday, April 9, 2011

dear the abandoned blog

i have been typing and deleting words and typing it again and deleting it all and typing the words again and Ctrl All Del the content again and eventually i type this repetitive action that i just did that is typing the words so it then can be formed into a strings of words which is called sentence that will only be ended with a single dot at the final word that i am typing down.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

an old-fashioned, chucklesome rom-com XD

Does sex make it impossible for men and women to be true friends?


Harry:I've been doing a lot of thinking, and the thing is, I love you.
Sally: What?
Harry: I love you.
Sally: How do you expect me to respond to this?
Harry: How about, 'You love me too'?
Sally: How about, 'I'm leaving.'
Harry: Doesn't what I've said mean anything to you?
Sally: I'm sorry Harry, I know it's New Year's Eve, I know you're feeling lonely, but you can't just show up here, tell me you love me and expect everything to be all right. It doesn't work that way.
Harry: Well how does it work?
Sally: I don't know, but not this way.
Harry: Well how about this way. I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out, I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich, I love when you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts, I love that after I've spent the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to begin as soon as possible.
Sally: That's just like you, Harry, you make it impossible to hate you; and I really hate you, I really hate you 

source: when Harry met Sally (1989)

Friday, March 25, 2011

a note to stand

I've got plenty of things to do but i keep hold it back, pretending that i've got all the time in this world. i am back to whine. i know it is terrible for one to complain and whine, but i am so tired of everything. the world tires me, the problems make me weary. the financial makes me unhappy like an old lady. troubles made me aging. i am not a 22-year-old young lady but a 40-year-old maid. 

right now, being with mom is the only thing i am thinking of. helping her with her daily routine with hopes it can take away all of her burden is what i am wanting to do. i hate my life. life is fucking unfair. and now being sick does not make me think of God. i know that there is a saying that a better life is somewhere out there, you just have to wait and keep on survive to reach there. what if i am tired of struggling with life? what if i need a rest and a little entertainment? what if i need a long good break to be clearheaded?

i should not give up. i know that.

so here's a note to myself, please keep holding on and please believe to yourself that one day you shall be successful. your mom will be proud of you. your family will be living happily. others will no longer underestimate your family. someone shall spare you the love that you never get from father. you shall be the happiest person in life. so believe that.

p/s: today's weather as solemn as my heart
   

Sunday, March 13, 2011

happy Sunday to you

i just had the soul breakfast.


this is a bloody good movie. i, myself am not a big fan of footballs. be in a group of boys who talk on footballs, i have had first to declare my ignorant of this footballs and balls thingies in which what i would certainly do in this odd condition,  was remaining silent or devilishly changing the topic. 

but this is a bloody good football's movie!!

Brian Clough uber fucking alles
i have kept this movie for half a year in the lappy and only today, i got the urge to watch this movie. i love the rendition of the Clough's character, it is well done by Michael Sheen. i love the character development of Clough, from the cocky winner until he became the ultimate loser as the Leed's manager. other thing that i found significantly important in this movie, is the friendship between Peter Taylor and Brian Clough.

i should not be bothered you with details of this movie. am sure some die-hard-fan of footballs must have seen this. if not, google serves the best in information searching. hence, i present you the pictures.

this is the real Brian Cough though
he who is presented by Michael Sheen
Along with his co-actor, Timothy Spall as Peter Taylor, who is also famous known as.....
Peter Pettigrew!!!!
oh well!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

it's raining outside T_T

at 4 in the morning where it is raining heavily outside, i pity/angry/remorse to myself for still not finishing the assignment.

first and foremost, i hate the subject. it is named testing and evaluation and i'm fucking hate this subject.

second, it's the motherfucker of every boring subject in this world to learn

third, i have no intention of becoming a teacher and cannot be a teacher pon, so why must i learn this?

fourth, it is unfair that the tesol group won't be doing this subject although it is so related with their field of study.

fifth, the strict perfectionist lecturer kills my passion and my patient.

sixth the task given is fucking hard with petty details need to be concerned. have to follow the convention lah, have to apply some theory. what an arse!

seventh, the test which is next week will cover up everything EVERYTHING that we've learned. no clue and indication of topics were given. she gave actually, but it is not helpful enough though.

one of the group member is fast asleep because he took his medicines. another had just arrived from kl after won  pantun competition in um. another, is still awake and now busy making the front page of that fucking test. me? whining to this blog. after several hours squeezing the brain i've got to let it rest.

wrapping up, it is very hard to set an exam questions, especially the multiple choice question. susah nak mati. so, be good to teachers.

oh well.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

no laa alia. i have to have my very own sweet-earned money. doing master wont do me any good. :(

no laa alia. i have to have my very own sweet-earned money. doing master wont do me any good. :(

Answer here

Friday, March 4, 2011

stealing minutes

3 days in action. am now in the exhibition hall. typing this secretly so people wont yell at me and says 'hey curik tulang'. hehe. i assure you not. i am not pampering my ass off, it just that, i need to write.

the fact that the whole week was worst and stressful and wild and crazy, but after went through the opening ceremony, the gimmick, the usherers, the vvip, the vc, bla bla bla, the overwhelmed burden stressed feelings i had had gone and is replaced by pure satisfaction and victory. 

no more frowning forehead and annoying jerk-face to the freshies. all iz well

and hey, i suit myself up today.  waddup!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

the good bad Wednesday

i don't have the patience of a nun. i made fight easily.  my face connotes the feeling i have. i have no control over my temper. i spurn all the ideas that sounds irrelevant to me. i can eat you alive when i am angry. i used the high shrill tone that people mistakenly thought as a sign of massacre, and that is the trait of my mom that i loathe

but i am all better now. it took a little effort and moment to calm me down. as long as everything turned out fine,  i'll be putting smile and making lame crazy jokes with weird giggling sounds i have.

as i told, this week is the "Stressest Week" ever. with many many many little things to do, i have no choice but to remain on the boat together with everyone else. this is the boat that i chose to ride on, though it led to somewhere else different, i believe it promises me brighter future and better chances.

and here some notes to the person i can't say this directly to her face, stop taking me for granted. if you are disinterested in doing all these petty labour works in organizing an event, you can move your ass off. on the first place, i shouldn't even bother to offer you a place. you made zero effort to place yourself within the clique. i wonder whether you were sincerely agreed to join or merely trying to be nice to me.

if working in a team is such a hateful thing to you, just be transparent and say it directly, you want to leave the team. i have no right in keeping you in if you were labeled as an anonymous lazy-tard. it just that, you should be decisive in choosing the path you want. looking at your reluctant face while doing that little responsibilities, made me feel guilty. am i forcing you hard?  but decision was in your hands.

at 2.45 in the morning and i am still awake. i planned to write a paragraph only, but end up quite a lengthy. but i am in the mood! still, class at nine in the morning tomorrow, and tomorrow is just another busy day.  sooooo get prepared and get some sleep, okay! 

adieu and farewell.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

it just is

Penang is hot as usual but i am in the meeting room of UK, sitting in peace and comfort with the cold air of air cond. the air of tense and stress lingered all around. the dense, thick air of STRESS that chokes and strangles every single person alive in this office. 

to put a smile on one's face, is already a labour.

the event will be this weekend, yes weekend. next week there will be test and assignment need to be submitted, in which, our group had only scratched the skeletons of the ASS, an hour ago. yeah great!

adding up the miseries, my laptop adapter made problem, barely functioned at all. doom, i was!

i cannot live without laptop (i don't think everyone can too). you see, it's my only source to entertainment, news, academical references, movies, entertainment, gossips, etc etc etc etc. in other words it means the worldddd. 

with a heavy heart and a little help of a big friend, i bought a new adapter which costs me quite a fortune. T_T. now i can make a stew out of the old adapter.

p/s: i miss the time of doing nothing, the absolute joy in bed with good music in the Slumber-land of Nothingness and Laziness. Yum!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

thug story

last night sleep was horrendous. a swarm of moths had declared war, attacking the body parts i can't reach, feet and thigh.

the idea of shielding myself under the blanket was pointless as the night was damn hot. it was late around three that time. 

although my eyes barely opened, my mind was not in rest. even the noise of tapping keyboard sounded like a construction to my ear. 
 
the worst part was nightmare. to call it a nightmare, it was quite real and ghostly, though.

shit you, whatever you are!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

exhausted week

this week i barely had enough sleep and i dont know how long this body can take. my week was damn hectic, even in weekend i had not be able to indulge myself with a good long sleep. T_T. and tomorrow i've got zillionth of things to be done for the career fair.

at this exact moment, while i am typing down word and word from this weary soul and body,  i miss my heavenly last years honeymoon when i joined nothing and became a lunatic who talked to the moon. it was  a pain in the arse and the mood was gloomy, nonetheless, it was a blissful and beautiful moment, beautiful pain. i miss the moment of me and me spending time together, singing/screaming some cool tracks from The Killers. man, that was a relief i tell ya.

i don't feel regret about joining activities, it just that i remorse to the old me who did not bother to join activities in university. imagine how wonderful my life could be if i met these wonderful people earlier, how many experience i could gain for two years, how cool my CV would be if i was active since the day i stepped on Penang. which is stupid lah, at this last semester i finally found the right place and people for me to dwell in.

no point of talking now, so to soothe the agony, a saying 'it's better late than never' is best too upgrade the positiveness. 
oh welllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll...........................................................................

Monday, February 14, 2011

valentine's fatwa

i know, i know it's haram and recently, government has called upon a front to oppose this Christian's celebration. smell fishy here.

personally, i think there's nothing wrong in celebrating Valentine's Day......and there will be voice saying
apa jahil sangat dia ni tak tahu ke history valentine's day?
yes, yes, i know the history, the pope valentine etc. it's the day that celebrates the winning of heathen over muslims. but hey, do the christians give a heck on this? most of them act like they are atheists and pagans who intentionally create almost all the vices devices in the entire globe.

the whole predicament actually lies within us, the Malaysian. The most agreeable problem  with the malaysian society, (malay people to be exact) they follow certain culture without having pure understanding in that. ok, maybe it is wrong to celebrate valentine's but still the concept of appreciating love is essentially needed regardless what religion you believed in. some of the malays, are moron enough to understand this holy concept by simply take the culture, celebrate it like all the weterners did. copy and paste without any improvisations, oh malays do that all the time kan.

to me, what the government did is utterly a waste of time and effort. it is not the day that should be 'haram' it is the act of dating, mating, fucking without legal bond that should be taken care of. even without the V day, there will be two, three, thousands couples that will be having sex before marriage. we never know.

so why bother so much about the V's day? there is no harm in celebrating the V day, in fact, V's day celebration is for appreciating everyone that you loved, mom, dad, teachers, best friends, anyone could be. the harm is in the human temperamental vices.

on top of this funny Malaysian matter, all of sudden the politicians who are previously mute and deaf when it comes to religion affairs, are now standing in line together-gather to oppose this day. boohooo!!  anyway, i've read from Faisal Tehrani's blog which talks on the V's day as well, he suggested to implement our own muslim love's day which is on 1st Zulhijjah, prior to the date of Ali and Fatimah Az Zahra got married.

sound brilliant to me.
and oh, happy V's (vendetta, valentine, virgin, viagra) day.

spread the love. save the semen. save the virgin.

monday rantings

i miss my restless soul. the one that bitches everyday, the one who finds wrath in every hateful thing. the one who condemns and complaints like she owns the world. i miss that restless bitch. 

being busy made me forget the bliss of devilish manner. i have noticed that in 2011 i did not yet bitching about how terrible life can be. and i cursed lesser so far. not that i proud to announce myself as a haughty girl who loves to vomit the obscene words, but as you can see there are flying cherubs behind me and the halo on top of this very head. :)

at this exact moment i am busy with the unimportant act class, the preparation of career days, the endless assignments for minor and majors, and of course the tests. knowing the play only costs us 10%, it got me discouraged me to be serious and excited about staging it. the problem lies not within the play, but it is because of our lecturer, Dr. Low Batt, who had sold our time and soul to the art lecturer, namely Gaylord. leaving me and some of the unsatisfied colleagues in wrath seeing Dr. Low Batt is powerless in front of the Gaylord.

and so we had to spent extra hours every week just to learn the so-called-acting lessons. in class, this morning we did the voice projection, projecting the voice that coming out from the belly, blablabalblaldavmla. i was a failure at this. and heck la you to expect me to have the voice volume increased by the staging day. if the requirements need us to project our voice loudly and to have excessive gesture while talking, where goes the need of understanding the content. now, this is just pointless and full of shit, right?

talking of shit, a wicked bird had left his mark on my shawl, right at my shoulder. i was talking to Won Lin, and suddenly came Maggie, pointing her index finger at the greenish-yellowish shit that was right on my shoulder. and there goes 'eeeeewwww' 'yeeeswwww' 'yuckkkks, oooooo like i love to be the loo of the birds laa. cisss!! alas, it was actually a good joke in Monday's afternoon. after spending nights thinking on how to complete the Othello's essay, good laughter is truly needed. 

oh well.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

the disastrous DIY attempts

when i lost my favourite black jeans, i made an urgent purchase of a pair of gray jeans. wore that in Langkawi for the first time and it got discolored at the first washing. disappointed i was, i decided to dye the pants black and it looked pretty much the same, in fact uglier than before. the uglification was done by the floor cleaners who were responsible to wash the floor level in which resulting the multiple little brown spots spattered over the buttocks of the pants. desperate, i inclined to bleach the whole pants and shamefully asked dhiya for a bottle of clorox. thanks to you dhiya. :) know what happened next?

i've got myself a pair of hideous brown pants. the colour of faeces. horribly fugly pants i have. 
*sigh

not only the pants that is fucked up, i dyed my white cardigan as well. it turned out as a hideous grayish cardigan. the colour was uneven, which make it looked like a sweater that one used while working in the coal mine. there is no turning back, so i uglified the cardigan once again by tie-dying the cardigan with black fabric dye but i know it will be just another disaster.

oh well. :|

Saturday, February 12, 2011

ramble on Jazz

yes, there is an old lady trapped inside of this 22-year-old body who found Ella Fitzgerald, Engelbert Humperdinck and the much younger singer, Michael Buble are divine singers. my brother said my playlist is boring. my best cousin said so too. my friend erna, refused to listen me whine about this old stuff. but i am really into this old swing music that the generation of today thinks as the lamest.

to begin with, Jazz is an ageless music. it doesn't grow old and die, only the Jazz singers are aging and dead. it was my lecturer who had first drawn my attention of jazz when she introduced a song called 'lets call the whole thing off' sang by Ella Fitzgerald. the song was classic, cool enough that it raised the attention of the whole class as we learned about accent in linguistic class. the song talks of two different accents, English and America and what it tries to convey is that no matters how different the English of these two regions might sound they can still understand each other. 

and so i began searching and downloading the jazz songs. at first it was only for the sake of finding serenity in studying, i cannot focus when listening to some dum dam gaga bieber when it comes to study.  i don't even like them. then the music came naturally to me, calming the restless soul, sweetly humming me to sleep, enlightening the gloomy days by its soulful harmony. in a simple word i love it. 

there is a friend, who claimed that he missed to listen to acid jazz. i don't even know how the acid jazz sounded like, but i guess, jazz are pretty much the same. so i  commented his status, 'was it something like Ray Charles', and he kind of condemned me of how lame it is to be listening to this old blind man. i replied to him 'jazz is ageless'. how can you love Jazz without loving its roots. and oh, i was pretty mixed up, Ray Charles was pretty much R&B during his time. 

after reading through some webs, namely Wiki, i sort of able to distinguish what is Jazz and what is Blues, what is what. Norah Jones is not really the sub of Jazz, Ray Charles also. so the truly jazz singer in my playlist are Ella Fitzgerald, Engelbert Humperdinck, Frank Sinatra, Diana Krall and of course, Michael Buble. still, i think this is debatable. good music needs not to be categorized because for everyone's ear and heart there is only one folder of the good music, which you and i have are nothing identical.

after all, i am just an avid listener of jazz and i am such a loser in playing musical instruments. still my music selections are considerably peculiar because i am forever deadly in love with Alex Turner and Alex Kapranos.

sincerely 
from me who haven't had the talent. 

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

self reminder

hantu mana yang rasuk aku sampai jadi pemalas dan bebal tahap mahamerongwangsa.

so aku buat entri ini as a reminder in future if there is a failure, nah ini buktinya.


katil, kau sangat mengancam.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

boredom strikes


from someone's tumblr. :)

only the truth

Girls are like
apples on trees. The best
ones are at the top of the tree.
The boys don’t want to reach for
the good ones because they are afraid
of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they
just get the rotten apples from the ground
that aren’t as good, but easy. So the apples
at the top think something is wrong with
them, when in reality, they’re amazing.
They just have to wait for the right
boy to come along, the one
who’s brave enough
to climb
all the way
to the top
of the tree.




*reposted from here. great blog, great people! 

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

tips for malaysian fashionista. meh!

who says that 'baju kelawar' is matronly and for night wear only??  

hah!! i prove you wrong!!


translating her view of this uber 'baju kelawar'
saya suka baju ini sebab bila jalan masuk angin. bawah atas saya dapat air cond. kini saya tak perlu risau lagi dengan masalah ketiak berpeluh. malah senang bila mahu ke tandas, sekali tarik saja dan nikmatnya heavenly. baju ini sangat selesa kamu tahu tak!!!
additional tips to rock this attire:
  • kamu boleh pasangkan baju ini dengan gladiator yang cool atau ankle boots. 
  • bagi yang muslimah, jangan lupa cover lengan kamu agar nanti tidak akan dilabel minah rempit. 
  • memandangkan majoriti malaysian adalah buta warna, pastikan kamu memakai shawl terkini yang paling terang sekali warnanya untuk dipadankan dengan sunshade besar kamu. pasti menarik perhatian.
  • untuk tips mekap, kamu tidak perlu mengenakan mekap yang terang memandangkan mekap yang paling sesuai adalah the puffy eyes. straight from the bed, kamu akan tampak cantik dan natural.
  • yang paling terakhir dan paling penting, tangkap gambar kamu dari kasut ke tudung untuk dipuji oleh rakan rakan maya yang pastinya akan mengagumi kecantikan kamu berfesyen. 

......................................................................................................................................

now, i am waiting for someone in Msia to break the code :)


the picture source is here. great website, by the way.

Monday, January 24, 2011

monday moanday

unconsciously typing the url of this blog while i supposed to present the academic blog, in front of everyone.
i know, big shame.

hahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahaahhahahaahhahahaahahaahhahahaahaaa




now i need to start doing the take home test and the CWP. yeah, i am the master of procrastination.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

slow typing in a boring room

i am feeling like i am a boring person. i am spending time in this very dull room doing nothing but online-ing. and the same cycle of life rolling over and over. my weekend is mostly spent by staying in a room, i rarely hang out ' tahu tak!' if i need to cure myself from the chronic sugary binge or the devilish temptation of fast foods, then i go out-lah to the nearest mall, Queensbay Mall but i prefer to go on the weekdays because walking in a huge crowd in weekend is atrocious. 

okay, lets go through the predicament of how boring i can be one by one, from time to time. generally, i love the old buildings, history, books, oldies music, vintage-granny clothing, i fond of these boring old stuff, very dearly. talking about history, i remember telling my uncle that i want to be an archaeologist, finding the monument of history and analysing the old manuscript but now these visions are nothing but the alien memories to me. the dream of being the history geek had slowly decayed when i was in a clique of girls who loathe history. they got Ds and i got an A. hence, the peer influence made me abandoned the passion towards history just because it was not cool. so i put a stop onto that dream and focused entirely to the sciences, and finally end up doing literature. how ironic is it.

being the eldest, i was lucky that mom spent her time to teach me to read at the early age. i used to have my own little bookshelf until the little monstrous which is my last sister , ripping off  the pages and drawing her monsterpiece that ruined the whole collection. no remaining pages left, nothing nada, hilang begitu sahaja .. soon after that, i spent my time reading the children encyclopedia of my uncle which he kept for his daughters  who had little interest of reading. it was difficult at that time, trying to grasp the foreign words without anyone assistance but it was a happy period of learning.

during school time, i spent number of times with my little gang bang in the library. i hated classroom, it hot and stuffy so we headed to library to sleep, to chat and to 'cuci mata' (the male seniors). we were all different, one loves to read the Malay Anthologies, another only sets the eyes onto Malay romance novel, few bothered not to read at all and i read almost anything i could get, the Malay and English novel as well. never in my school time i had any English fiction because it costs fortunes to me. so i ended up borrowing others book and sneaking the books from the library. yes, illegally without the formal procedure of borrowing whatsoever but i returned it once i finished. sometimes.

today, i just realized the glory of using the library to the maximum. boohoo! but seriously, i try my best to follow the rule and i borrowed lots of book. it feels pretty good and nerdish i must say. besides, the course i am doing now made me "nerdier" than ever.

so far, no one had called me nerd but boring, yes, when it comes to the songs selection. hehe. i still love the headbanging-indie-band music but John Mayer and Norah Jones made me calmer when i need to focus.

and oh, i have been called as 'makcik library' just because i wore loafer with socks. hey, it's cool man. it's preppy and so Hermione Granger, yunno.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

the sushi truth

after several attempts of wanting to be cool, i am now officially declare that i do not like sushi.

probably will never like it.

love the topping but not the rice and the seaweed. but but but there is another kind of sushi that i wont resist.


chocolate sushi :) drooooooollling

Sunday, January 16, 2011

little darling


i want this, i want this, i want this, i want this!
look at the hood, the material, that simple elegant cutting dress. this is the most drop-gorgeous vintage dress i ever see and i want it.

for you who might not know, the is Edith Beale. The eccentric life of Little Eddie and her mother darling has been feautred into a documentary film, many years ago (perhaps in 70's) and the title is Grey Gardens. the latest version is starring by the famous Drew Barrymore. i just watched it. that is why i got all excited to talk of it but i am not really recommend this for you people to watch.because some of you might starve for killing shooting action or scene where hot chicks pose with sports car in which this movie obviously hasn't had any of these. apparently, this is a movie of real people. 

so, how these eccentric big Eddie and little Eddie are catching a lot of attention until they got filmed. it is because they are the crazy cousin of Jackie Kennedy, who used to be the first lady of America, the wife of the JF Kennedy. the craziest fact is that they were living in a house called Grey Gardens in South Hampton together with 300 cats, which includes raccoons and possums. among 28 rooms in that house, 24 were not being used. it was said that they made pyramids of food cans in the living room. the first thing that came into my mind, that was impossible to live in such condition with human and animal waste all over the house. how could any civilized people able to restrain?
it is just pimpossible, said Barney
but they managed to get through. the Big Eddie (the mother darling) determined for not leaving the Grey Gardens while Little Eddie was tied by the role of good daughter, hence they stay and be happy together in that old shabby house mansion.


the Little Eddie and her mother darling
cool facts huh.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

who'd have known

there is a girl that i used to think her as the most hateful person, but now i feel the opposite when i am around her.

the magic of time.
it makes your heart cured from hatred and wound.
the best part is your heart now is stealthier  from any potential heartbroken.

p/s: heartbroken here does not necessarily between man and woman.

two left feet

during dinner last night, a friend told me that i'll be the woman who won't get married. my respond towards that bitter statement is 'oh please don't say it'. i want to get married and have kids and have a big happy family. you see the fact is, i've been single quite for a long time. in fact i have never fallen in love with anyone. the truth is, being single is not really a matter to me but being unable to fall in love or to like the opposite sex is what worries me.

i have this weird syndrome that whenever i realize that someone is trying to make a move, i'll retreat. i shunned off every opportunity that enable him to get closer and to some serious extent, i even felt like throwing out. no kidding. no additional lines to exaggerate, that really happened to me. and later, i regretted.

so please please tell me, this happened to everyone else.
btw, i am not fugly.

p/s: the title is the song sings by Anya Marina. catchy tune, though.

Friday, January 14, 2011

funny catch




































the ancient joke of P. Ramlee age is epic.

source : the funny giant polar

it's depressing to be the Queen, so i stabbed myself.

i am not crazy enough to stab myself but that is what happened to Natalie Portman in Black Swan. her new movie that is somewhat related to the Swan Lake fairytale. 

Swan Lake is a classic ballet performance that is fashioned by the Russian folktale. it is about a princess who   is turned into a swan by the evil sorcerer and only true love kiss can repel the curse. she found the prince charming that could break the spell but he is later seduced by the black swan and made the swan queen shattered and broken into pieces. and that, my friends, has driven her into suicidal. 

do not get confuse this original version with the Barbie's version. although, it derives from the same source but it is entirely different. as for Barbie, the ending is happy because it's for children, you know. but i love all the Barbies movies. 

so now we know the foundation story of the Swan Lake and so lets move to Black Swan, the movie.  as a whole, it is a movie of obsession and depression. although the theme is very ladylike (ballet) but the whole plot is dark.  it is basically about Nina the ballerina who is chosen to be the Swan Queen among of all the girls who yearn that role. nina, who is very timid fragile and feeble, definitely suits to be the Swan Queen but she is lack of passion to be the seductive Black Swan. hence on the ongoing process to be the evil black Nina, she hallucinated, and masturbated, a lot and that just made her losing her sanity.

it is a good movie as it received good rating from the critics, but it is fucking scary too. the whole movie witnesses the role changed of Nina, from the white feeble swan into the black evil swan. later at the end, she finally changed the whole skin and become the evil Nina who stabbed the white Nina. there are many obscene scenes though, and all gobsmacked me like the time when she stabbed her own face by the knife, when she plucked a black feather at the back of her, and when she straggles in hallucination of killing lily. oh man, i was like wth is going on with the timid obedient Nina. 

the symbolic scene of her plucking the black feather is another way to declare nina as 'im  a crazy psycho bitch, dont mess with me'. this movie has not reached the Malaysia's cinema as many of great movies  haven't. perhaps the content, or maybe the many 'touch-myself' moment. but still, it is a great movie. Natalie P's act is so real and convincing, and the move is not all about one losing her mind but it's about how the greed of power can drive one to commit obscene acts. 

how about making a movie of how the Malaysian go crazy, but the main prop should be the acid. or the laser?

oh well.  

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

the busy bee

i can tell that this semester will be the most dreadful semester, because of

1) being the final year student, 
2) the killing major papers
3) the sudden changed of the assignment. now it is compulsory for every group to stage one of the three plays
4) the career fair which i apparently involve in.
5) the abundance of assignments from minor paper. suck.
6) bad timetable. class starts as early as 8 in the morning and end up late in the evening. 
7) the ancient Shakespeare's work is hard to digest.

die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die

quote of the day in this very blog,
Do the hard jobs first. The easy jobs will take care of themselves.       Dale Carnegie
like really? 

Monday, January 10, 2011

last post on the bugle

boring la weih. so, i end up doing this 100 question. nobody tagged me though, i stole it from my roomate's blog (mira). i did ask her permission ok. whatever lah.

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 100 Truths about you. At the end, choose people to be tagged.

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: tea cicah biskut hup seng! hao liao
2. Last phone call: mummah
3. Last text message: the artsy Nad
4. Last song you listened to: jesus of suburbia
5. Last time you cried: semalam yaw

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: no
7. Been cheated on: Yes
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: Noo and eeew if i ever be it will be the worst history ever
9. Lost someone special: Not exactly. no and yes
10. Been depressed: all the time
11. Been drunk and threw up: drunk with rage and madness, yes i had

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12. Red
13. Yellow
14. Brown


THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2010)
15. Made a new friend: yeaaahh 

16. Fallen out of love: big no
17. Laughed until you cried: rarely. 

18. Met someone who changed you: no
19. Found out who your true friends were: needless to say, yes!!.
20. Found out someone was talking about you: yeah. know what, im irresistible that's why i made a good topic
21. Kissed anyone on your Facebook friend's list: eerk, haromm
22. How many people on your Facebook friends list do you know in real life: 80% i guess

23. How many kids do you want to have: i want many many many. like seriously. i envy them who has lots siblings.
24. Do you have any pets: none. not good with animal.
25. Do you want to change your name : i wish that the initial is not a W. its dreadful while waiting your name to be called, you know!
26. What did you do for your last birthday: didn't do anything. stayed in room. lame ass.
27. What time did you wake up today: eleven something in the' you know that'
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: had funny chat with a friend, that was 'oh-so-mengarut'

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: money to come rolling. come to mummah!
30. Last time you saw your Mother: before i headed back to penang 

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish it to be more than one.
32. What are you listening to right now: please dont stop the music

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: tom cruise in the moonland ;p
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: nothing
35. Most visited webpage: facebook 

36. Whats your real name: teeet teeetmunirah binti teet ruslan
37. Nicknames: should i really answer this? duhhhh
38. Relationship Status: should i really clarify it?

39. Zodiac sign: Libra
40. Male or female?: should i really prove it?
41. Elementary?: SK KGV
42. Middle School?: mrsm serting
43. High school/college?: uitm tesl foundation
44. Hair colour: black. i wish its red
45. Long or short: tak boleh bagitahu
46. Height: 154 cm. pendek 

47. Do you have a crush on someone?: uh uh no. i wonder why.
48: What do you like about yourself?: so fucking lots laa 

49. Piercings: only for ears
50. Tattoos: uh uh 
51. Righty or lefty: left-handed

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: None 

53. First piercing: when i was in kindergarten. still remember that i screamed the loudest.
54. First best friend: it was alyana syakirah 
55. First sport you joined : i was bad with sport because i wear glasses. hence i lived up with the idea im bad with sport, until recently i realized i am not that bad.
56. First vacation: cannot remember

 58. First pair of trainers: form 1, i guess
RIGHT NOW
59. Eating: curry puff, literally in mental mind. suddenly craving for curry puff panas2 60. Drinking: my own saliva in real
61. I'm about to: sleep and save this post in draft
62. Listening to: god put a smile upon your face, and some boys screaming like apes. seriously.
63. Waiting on : money to come rolling

YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids?: Yes, many many many. but it is better if those kids dont come out from my fetus. rabaklah nanti. thinking of dumping your baby? find me ;p

65. Get Married?: please God, send me a man
66. Career?: still vague

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: Eyes
68. Hugs or kisses: both-lah weih
69. Shorter or taller: Taller
70. Older or Younger: older is better
71. Romantic or spontaneous: im a spontaneuos and a hopeless romantic. so, it should be vice versa? aite
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: a little bulge ok kot. but sexy stomach is like oooh
73. Sensitive or loud: i am both. sensitive and loud.
74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship 

75. Trouble maker or hesitant: i can be both.

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: No. but macam nak je. stranger in the night
77. Drank hard liquor: Nope
78. Lost glasses/contacts: never
79. Sex on first date: hell no!
80. Broken someone's heart :yeah
82. Been arrested : i come in peace 
83. Turned someone down: yeah
84. Cried when someone died: yes
85. Fallen for a friend?: No, and hope it will never be

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: Yeah, i am the awesome moon
87. Miracles: Yes 

88. Love at first sight: Yes
89. Heaven: Yes
90. Santa Claus: No
91. Kiss on the first date: No
92. Angels: Yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: No
95. Did you sing today?:  of course la
96. Ever cheated on somebody?: Yes
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: it will be complicated. so i prefer keep on living in present
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?: entah
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: perhaps
100. Are these answers above all truths?: of course you can trust me ;p


by the way ana rafali just won the ajl. eeerhh, that song was good, but her performance was sadly performed. the bright side, yuna didnt win the title. good job ana raffali, although i hardly understand what you were singing about. 

Monday, January 3, 2011

tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree

let me be a normal girl who talks of things she loves, for tonight.

of course, i had some shopping for myself as sales are everywhere. surprisingly, i was not really tempted to buy anything at the mall, instead i bought myself books, speaking of which, i am somewhat regret that  i did so. because the book doesn't really catch my interest after i've read few chapters. but, lets not make a quick judgment, right.

so, move on. i just want to share of what i had bought, which were really great bargains.

i managed to buy myself a pair of loafers.  i used to frown to mom, whenever she insisted to buy penny loafers because it was so not in and so matronly. and i dont know which air had blown to my ears, seducing me to buy a tan chain loafers, which was really cheap and comfy too. so, i bought, and happily look forward to wear it tomorrow to the class. although, some might say no no to loafers or some might squint their eyes as they look at my feet. ah, who cares. i managed to get a pair of comfy loafers with good quality and name at ridiculous price. please, be jealous. :)

its my habit that i plan big for shopping, even before the money is in. i just loved the idea of buying this, having that, it thrills me. and so, since i was still at home, i insisted to buy myself a pricey handbag for class and outing purposes because i planned to use it for a long term. apparently, nothing had caught my eyes and i was a bit reluctant to spend three numbers for merely a handbag. alas, i am still a student. a miskin one too.after some serious calculation and discussion with friends, i ended up buying a cheap thailand made handbag that i found ridiculously cute with bow in front of its round shape. its pretty unique, though, and my colleagues are so used of seeing me with funny clothes and shoes. why not bag, for this time.

i guess i am no longer that brand freak anymore and my resolution has somewhat accomplished, (i wished to be frugal for 2010, and i just did that). applaud to the great king Moon, mwahahhaha. still, a part of me loves the expensive latest designer handbag or shoes but considering my condition, i should not be bothered to compete with some brand snob because what i fashion presenting who i am, the great Moon.

hey, i am still looking good with some bundle garments and people indeed asked me where i got that stuff. besides, not all the brand stuff are equally good, bcus some of it (mango and f21) are made in china. and oh, a fashionista is not necessarily a branded slave, you just have to have the 'mix and match' skill.

p/s: i made too much of bragging myself and i know its not healthy. but,  its another way to be confident, kan! oh, well!