Saturday, August 3, 2013

A brief joy in Ramadhan 2013

Dearest blog,

Was wondering who were kind enough to drop comments for this zombie-blog, how innocent I was that there were all spam comments. Here I am, wanting to write so badly and only now I had the chance to do so. I am in my holiday for Eid festive,  and I am here with relatives and grandmom, feeling awesomely good that I dont have to get back to work on Monday.

A brief of life now, the work life is nowhere good but the best updates in life is that I am no more hold onto the last memories of a psychopath man. Pretty much believe that I think I am in love now. God has not yet granted my wish for a better job and bigger salary but he sent me a man who can take me the way I am. A lot of time, I have  prayed and hoped for someone who likes me the way I am, the one who thinks my clumsiness is the cutest yet silliest thing anyone could do, one who never wants me to change and one who understand my bitterness of my past. I probably have found him and am still in awe of shocks wondering how this could happen to me.

Of course, I am grateful. Grateful that I am no longer under the curse of the previous beast I had once. I need not to tell the incident as it brought nothing but a sheer disappointment, but given the chance if I could meet him again, I would smash his scrotum and hit his ball sacks so hard that he wont be able to make love ever again. That beast, had never done anything bad to me, although merely a mental/emotional abuse but it had killed the positivity in me, leaving me sorrow and battered with love. Yeah, for that horrible 2 years of forgetting and struggling with the recurring memories.

So now. I don't have that 100% sureness that this new maybe "love" will lead to a better ending but I dont know why I just have the openness to accept him and let him be a part of my day. The fact that he wants me to include me in his future plan, is flattering enough but I certainly cannot deny the doubts that I have in me. Having all the time for myself, it made me realize and understand the reason behind all the bad choice of the bad boys I had in life. My fear of getting serious.

I still have much to write on, but, now is certainly not the right time. The fact that I haven't spent my days writing nor reading for quite sometimes, it does make me so so rusty in head. But honestly, I am pretty much happy these days and I wish this will somehow work on us.

A pinky promise to myself that I will give my best effort to work on this.