Saturday, April 30, 2011

eventually...

so i am done with the exam, and proudly declaring i finally completed the three years of being a student, Alhamdulillah for that. today is my last day in Penang, though i will be going back to USM in the middle of May, but this is pretty much the end of everything. everyone's leaving, some staying, i am leaving too. i am glad that i end these 3 years, happily, normally, like others would be feeling. it feels good that everything went well although at the end, you find yourself not in the same circle as you were in the first year, but it doesn't matter. that is life. eventually, it changes. i feel great that i leave the uni's life with no ill-hearted feeling, no grudge, all forgiven, al iz well.

my only concern now is to think of what-to-be, and how to be the-what-to-be. i need to find a job. one that can give me money, one that makes me happy, one that i love. i can do pretty much anything, but definitely not doctor, engineer, accountant, etc, the technical field. so my choices are to be in communication field, editing, writing or PR-ing? and then the education field and perhaps in administration like HR and what not. but if you ask me, what i love the most, i choose to be in communication scope, anything to do with entertainment enlighten me. still, i do have this slightest worry about these future work thingy, but then there is always few positive-friends smacked this thought down and said 'have a little faith'. and they are right, i have studied for 4 years, and it's time to face the world. so, i talked to myself, consoled the anxiety, 'just stop worrying too much, it does not even help you find a job'.

hence, so good luck to everyone. ive heard one of my course-mate, already got a job. few want to pursue masters. and i will be out there, among the struggling jobseeker. hoho. whatever, wherever you guys will be, may Lord be with thee.

oh well.

Monday, April 25, 2011

false alarm

not that i set the wrong timing or wake up late for the final exam. there's nothing to do with the alarm clock, time and whatsoever. it is my silly clumsy mind that was drowsily sleeping somehow, until today, on this very morning this braniac (brain+maniac) seems to be fully awake from its long slumber.

before i proceed, please know, that i am in the middle of exam's week. i've got two more papers before i declare myself free from assignments, classes, books, examinations, and every tedious stuff to do with the life of a student. preparing for exam is like setting forth of a war. one's mental and physical  have to be armored with excessive knowledge and shielded by great health, and to step in the exam hall it is important to limber up your fingers' muscles and knuckles so you can endure the excruciating moment of three hours in the exam hall. but, no matter how ready you are, please do not forget the most crucial essential fundamental vital step, check your exam's schedule.

last night at three in the morning, i made sure of basic things like the exam's slip, the ID card and the matrix, are being put in the bag, with a tremendous hope i won't be late for exam. and i made sure i woke up early just to have enough time to get myself ready, 10 min to apply the moisturizer etc, 10 mins to select the clothes, 5 min to get back to the room for the forgotten sweater, albeit i was one of the early birds. i chose to have a morning walk that helps to break the nerves and it was not that far, a 15 min walk from that highland of Saujana. so, i reached the exam hall with sweat, and high determination for the exam, but only to realize that none of my coursemates were there. i started to get even more panic when there was no 'seat-display-number-whatever' for my course, HET i-forget-the-code, being pasted on the board.

i was perplexed but i could not call anyone as i didn't bring my phone and there was no one that i knew around. upon the realization and for the love of Computational Linguistics, who wants to be in the exam hall when the real exam starts at 2 in the evening but not at 9 in the morning. and there i was standing in front of the exam hall, like a complete lunatic who did not double triple check her schedule. so, this is my final lesson.

oh well. oh CL.

Friday, April 22, 2011

James Franco

oh boy! can somebody pinch me?

fyi, the hunky, drop dead gorgeous James Franco is planning to pursue his doctorate in literature and creative writing and oh boy, that is sexy! reading english, you see, is not something that everyone loves to do, even the native speakers found it useless. it is boring, lengthy and old most of us will be half-dead while reading it. and this incredibly good looking man is actually liking these old boring stuff that i've been learning for three years and it makes me feel 'oh, thank God for clearing the path for me!' the oath that i am taking now, though it is less traversed but is something i love.

Carey Mulligan in An Education is dying to read English Oxford, and now knowing that James Franco is a literary-man boosted my confidence with the education i had. always that the english graduates be associated with only the teaching profession and to some extent we are being made fun of our vague future.
 oh literature? what you gonna be? a shakespeare? 
when i was first knowing that i'd be doing a degree in literature, i was shocked and i felt cheated by the whole gomen system because i supposed to be doing a degree in Tesl. the society were all rude, one of my cousin said that the English literature course that i be doing is ridiculous and i knew that deep in their heart, the people, they were laughing at me, making fun of my five years education in boarding school and end up reading poems and books of the dead writers. oh right, laugh at all the fun, you may. if the future is foreseeable, i wont be bothered to learn the empirical intelligence stuff you called science.

we, the english graduates are the marginalized. there are almost zero sponsors. Tesl and English degree although are sisters but mainly separated. the teslian has better fortunes than us, and oh it depends on the university as well. in usm, we doubled up the study time but still end up with nothing extravagant. there is only one person in the class who be getting the first class degree, but the CGPA is not more that 3.6. below grandeur if compare to the uitm's degree.

alas, what can i do other than whining. i cannot change the whole system of USM, protesting 'y u NOOO easy'. in preparing myself for the life after the university, i cannot help but be worried of my writing skill, which is merely average level. nothing impressive. and when it comes to speaking and communicating i can be all drenched in sweat and fears. i just hope that God will be generous enough to light on my oath once i graduate. Amin.

p/s: Franco is teaching at NYU, it would be faaaaan-tastic if i could be one of his lucky student, scrutinizing and reading him the poems with unimaginable pleasures.

the Brazilian birds

when it comes to the movie selection my preferred genres are rom-com and *ehem, animation movies. though i am perfectly 22-year-old lass, i cant help myself for liking the animation movies and to me, exaggeratedly speaking, these movies are almost perfect, except that they are not real and primarily meant for children.



i just watched the latest animation movie, Rio and i love it to the maaaaaaaaxxxx~~ i love the way the animators personalized the animals, personified it by giving significant, unique traits of human. one that can sing, another can rap, the other is too philosophical, and of course there will always be the villainous malicious character but is still comical. and all of these wonderful imaginary world of the untalked birds and barking dogs are beyond brilliant. irregardless how some obnoxious adults would label this genre as immature or child-like content, at least the animation movies are purely innocent and hundred percent safe from the obscene scenes unlike the many hyped-nowadays-movies that sells the actors (body and beauty) rather than the plot.

so yes, Rio is a must-watch-movie. not only that the animation and the colours are great but the plot is entertaining and easy to digest. ok, say the plot is nothing extraordinary, but you will love how it embedded few classic love scenes of many rom-com, where two people/birds that are completely the opposites, have to bear the annoyance of each other in certain period of time and finally fall in love. all smiling, it is another happy ending movie. cliche but wth........also, i like the fact that this movie got the brazil's vibes, the music, the setting, the culture but does Brazilian rap a lot? because those birds sure raps a lot in that. at the geeky side, there is a post-colonial concept weaves in though, the notion of 'going to the native'...

ok, now, i insist you to watch this movie. download it or get the cd, that would do. i support the cheap industry. watch ahead. spare not more than two hours to ease out your mind and to enjoy the funny little world of birds and animal in Brazil. and oh, seeing all the lively carnivale in Rio, it makes me wanting to go to Rio de Janeiro for the live-first-hand experience and maybe, just maybe get myself a quick lesson of samba. ay yay yay! 

oh well XD

Monday, April 18, 2011

a call

after many months, dad finally called me. i was the last he called before my brother and sister and it went not more than 5 minutes. he called by using a different number, and i had no clue it was him. he sounded unsure, perplexing like usual but i sensed a sincere effort there. 

abah: hello
me: hello, abah ke?
abah: aah. abah pakai number baru.
me: sihat tak?
abah: tak sangat. abah demam
me: *silent*
abah: study macam mana?
me: exam rabu ni.
abah: study elok-elok
         okla
me: ok, kem salam dekat mek.
both: bye. 


i never have those daughter-father moments and i just don't know how to react like a daughter vis a vis he probably doesn't know how to be a father to me. fair situation. somehow, i don't wish this relationship to be cured. i just hope it won't affect me in the future albeit the past had molded me into the now me, that is hard to change.

millionth thank you to you, dad that i am growing awesome even though you weren't there for me. and oh, for the phone call conversation, i might have dropped few lines. pardon me.

 oh well.

Friday, April 15, 2011

of the L word

i am a woman. born to be a girl completes with the normal level of estrogen and perfectly shaped vagina, of course i love to talk about love. pillow talk, rom-com movies, love novels are perfectly enchanting to me. the most novel thing a girl would want to talk about, all night long. and i am one of these typical girls who can stay all awake listening to some love stories, never be bored with it.

however, i am not one of those who thinks that love is easy to find nor easy to buy. when it comes to love and marriage i want to make it important and sacred, like the sacred egg that i risk my life from letting it cracks. i am a firm believer  that one day that guy who i sometimes dreamed coming to me with the handsome face of johnny depp rides in a posh car who tags along a lorry of chocolates and love, he will one day find the right way to get to me.

this may sound like a fairy tale to you, but this silly little unimportant dream means a hope to me. being brought up in a broken house, i have no exemplary of perfect couples, not even a perfect guy. so life is pretty loveless and still. people used to say, find a man who is exactly like your father. i, munirah ruslan, dispute this insensible notion because i'd rather be died alone with 10 cats than spending years with a guy like my father. not that i hate him, but i believe i deserve someone better. mom deserves a good man too but fates were destined by God. alas, i wont be in this world if it was not the sperm of dad came crushing mom.

in such early morning,  i am not yet having my beauty sleep and this is due to the caffeine. a friend came crashing my door for a sleepover we had some pet talk of love and it made me thinking. why oh why, for the love of God, i am still perfectly single but awesome as always? if a guy could tell me straight to my face that i am not pretty enough, i can bear with it. but if you come to tell me, i don't have enough ladyship and gentle, i will keep my opinion and sit at the end of the room, not crying but raging at the entire world.

the truth is you cannot judge people. well, not if you were given the wisdom like simon cowell, who is blatant enough to voice his brute comments. what i mean is when you want to know someone, know someone deeply. not on the superficial like what she's wearing, what sort of accent she has, what colour of his eyes, is his purse fat enough to feed your shopping temptation, is she fat, has she got big boobs. no no no no no no no no no.

know someone from his/her heart. every person in this world has different experience, childhood, voice, opinion, interest and these mold into what we are today. and so we've get to let these people being their true self and you've got to love them for what they are. that my friend, is love to me.

oh well. quite a lengthy one. if you happen to read until the very end, you are ouuuhsemm!! XD

p/s: it annoys me that i can write this in a flash but not a report. hergh.

Monday, April 11, 2011

my norm-nom-nom life

because i had quite a big portion of naan bread with tandoori chicken which i just ate late in the midnight due to a friend's born day.  i am all awake and fresh now but not strong enough to have the strength to start the assignment. yes, i do have an assignment during the study week. what a life. 

for these few weeks i had quite a life which explains the stillness of this blog. since that i still love you my dear blog but i am too freaking lazy so i am only gonna make lil snippets that pretty much tell the whole thing of my current life.

1. i am done with the Othello's play. it turned out great because the lecturers seemed to love it very much even though i personally think that it was not that great. but of course they are some excellent actors that deserved to receive the applause.

2. i went to langkawi again this weekend for a very short treat and just arrived about 9 at night. the activities were not that fun as we did not get the chance to do the island hopping or snorkeling to Payar Island.  however, the presence of what i called as great friends really made my weekend the best i had have in uni's life.

3. today, which is monday is the beginning of the revision week and i have not yet started anything. to worsen the exam panic, this semester is considered to be the shortest exam week (only for my course) because of its early start which is at 20th (if im not mistaken) and will end at 28th. what a life.

4. finally, i will be having a decent dinner with my coursemates which is also served to be our farewell dinner right after we finish the exam.

5. i haven't got anything decent to wear to the party and enough quids to buy me fancy dress.

6. i am having the pre-graduation anxiety since i am left with the only option, that is to work. talking about future and work have made me quite a pessimistic because everyone knows that seeking employment is not an easy thing to do.

7. the durian-craving was cured by the generosity of a friend's parents who brought those durians all along from Perak to Penang just for us. later they treated us (me and fiza) with super-tasty-special char kuey teow that i found the best in Penang so far, which is located at Permatang Pauh, not too far from UiTM.

i want to write more but can only afford seven points for tonight. hence, good night and good day-lah!

Saturday, April 9, 2011

dear the abandoned blog

i have been typing and deleting words and typing it again and deleting it all and typing the words again and Ctrl All Del the content again and eventually i type this repetitive action that i just did that is typing the words so it then can be formed into a strings of words which is called sentence that will only be ended with a single dot at the final word that i am typing down.