A humble 2020 vision

2019 was a tough year for me.
From all of the years, He chose 2019 to be the toughest year for me and on the very last day of 2019, I was still dumbfounded and confused of what to do next in life.

A recap of 2019, it started out well as I was very lucky indeed that He invited me to visit Mecca and Medina, on January 2019. He then granted my wish for Abah to be healthy and safe on his own, and sadly Allah took him forever to be under his protection. Husband got retrenched at his work and months after he received a new job offer at local bank. I did my very best at work but rezeki was not even close because I didn't get the promotion that I think I deserved to get.

2020 started with a humble beginning. My motivation slipped away as 2019 closed its curtain. I had to rethink of my career growth, because I know venting out and lashing my anger to my dumdum boss won't change anything. So I started to lay my options out, its either 1) to transfer to a new department within the company and 2) to quit and applying a new job. For all you know, the second option is way too drastic and so I chose the option 1, after considering all the benefits from my current company.

The whole idea of changing to a new department is daunting, especially when I clearly aware that I had no experience in that line and my action was probably due to frustration. But then, after contemplating the possibilities, staying within the same department wouldn't help me going anywhere up to the career ladder and the percentage of another frustration could be higher than ever. And so I am willingly to move my ass off, learning new thing and becoming a junior again for the sake of gaining more experience and to mend my broken heart. Alas, all rezeki has been decided by Allah, I just have to give my best at work and life and if God wills, anything can happen.

So for 2020, I wish nothing but the best, to myself and everyone surrounds me. I wish to stay off from the office politics and need to steer myself away from toxic co-workers. It's the year to start learning new things, expanding my skills and mind my own shit.