let me entertain

end of my holiday, back in Penang after 15 hours travel of many pit stops. am now at my desk, lit by the study lamp while listening to a friend's snore, trying to find proper words to cuss and to whine about the shortest break ever. obviously, there are helluva lot of things to rant about, and i have to narrow the all shitty days to find the shittiest day to be enunciated it proudly in this blog a.k.a the rage bin, cuss storage, the nothingness land. or perhaps, i could just hastily throw out everything, scatter the fury little bit her, another bit there. better, that way eh. 

welcome, welcome and let me schmooze you with my dark tale.

which i won't tell anyone actually, not even spill it out in this blog unless it is inevitable and irrevocably spilled when i am off guards or drunks by madness. for many reasons i try to keep it as my biggest secret, apparently this has became the root of my greatest fear and that, of course, is a whole lot misery life i have.

no, i am not being molested, sexually abused or to some extent paranoid of men. no, no, not belong to such miseries. mine, is less tragic but sadist enough to make people treat me well, or the opposite of polite.

if there is a heavenly refuge that is specialized to some psychotic with bad family history, i am gonna register myself in, forever. i am tired of drama but i am left with no other option that is to keep it, though it hard to swallow.

life is fucking unfair.