Blah.

Wedding used to be cheap. Mom and dad, they both married using the parents' funds and I believe it was way cheaper than ever. And I, have to leave a huge hole in the pocket just to make a simple wedding.

Not try to complain about the wedding, because we all know, frugality is the key.

It is just that, I am sad. I am disappointed. Utterly disappointed. I don't even know how to express this but it is just so hurt. I can cry the whole day, but I will try not to.

I am not a good person. I may be an annoying friend, a little self-centered and narcissistic jerk, but when being a friend to somebody, I will do my best to be honest, sincere and try to be myself among them. But it is just so heartbreaking that I am being penalized for something that I don't even have a fucking clue, why. Or perhaps being penalized of being a jerk-ass and yet not even once being told that I am a fucking asshole.

Yes, friend comes and goes, but I don't have time to put up a fight or having to explain myself of something that I don't even know. Like fuck it. Fuck, fuck fuck fuck. I will just let the fire goes out. Let the sparkles die.

Life is tough, so I get it.

So move on. I wish that I can pack myself out of nowhere and bring nothing else but myself. Start a life elsewhere and be a fucking nobody. Make no contact, no intimate conversation and be a lonewolf.

Haha. I wish.

I do have a few who I love. And I will always do.

Cheer up.

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