The Flood

 I had a dream that I was in a foreign place. I was in a small stream that somehow led to the ocean. Suddenly the tide came along with the thunderous rain. The water was crystal clear, the kind of water that I would jump off. As the water rising up to my knees level, I ran to find the safe land. I went to the shore and climbed up to the hill and took cover in a place near the shop lot. I saw myself crying and screaming as I was alone. 

Of course, we should not believe in dream interpretation as it could be the Devil's thought whispered in your head, but I somewhat believe that there is a psychological meaning behind it. As we sleep, we tend to bring our problems, our sorrow, and excitement. I've probably been in a dire state of needing more support and magic words to make myself feel better.

Rezeki is something that is not within our hands. I have not counted my blessing and kept on hoping to get something that I believed should have been given to me much earlier. I wanted a promotion, but it just didn't happen. For the past three years, I blamed the backstabbing colleague who purposely sabotaging my chances which led me to the decision to move to a new department last year with a hope that it would change. Well oh well, it's not happening, and I have no one else to blame. 

The hard part is to fix the despair and to conceal the disappointment. I tried to console my heart that I am still new and still need more improvement at the given task, but come on! I did my very best though. I did receive a plus point for effort, but deep down I still want the promotion. I know this sounds very ungrateful but I just cannot hide my disappointment. 

And so the dream appeared, so clearly pictured that I did some googling on it. As I read the meaning, it symbolizes the despair of something that you cannot control. It is true. No matter how hard I want it, if it is not meant to be, it is not meant to be. It is easier to say and write this rather than accepting this hard truth, right! But I've gotta move on and put all my hope in Him as He is the ultimate power. In a situation like this, rather than relying on a human to give you the chance, I must shift it to the One and Only. Yes, it is a tough one, as you might compare your journey to some others who get it easier than you but hey, life is not a competition and this is Dunia Tipu-Tipu. 

So, as a conclusion to my duniawi need, I know that I will have to be very close to Him, upgrading more extra time for Him and believe in His plan. Sometimes, we wanted our life to be planned as what we have imagined, but you know what? To err is human. So just leave it to Allah and just do our very best in everything without hoping for any reward. Just be ikhlas and amanah. 

After all, you did your best, and adapting to the changes is not easy though. Don't be too tough on yourself, you deserve a new handbag. JK